Culture...and Visitors

We love to have visitors. We just bid goodbye to visitors a few weeks ago, with a tear in the eye. We have the privilege of having my mother here for a surprise visit right now, as well, and never look forward to family goodbyes.

We are so grateful for the day and age we live in that makes overseas travel possible. We love our friends and families. We love the people and the place where God has put us here in Africa. Some of the sweetest times have to be when both of our ‘worlds’ merge for a short period of time, when friends and family visit this beautiful land. As one missionary wife put it, “It just doesn’t get much better than that!” It is with great joy that we get to see our much-loved mission field again through different eyes - the eyes of a visitor.

It’s always amazing to me how we become accustomed to the things that we see every day. When we have visitors, we see things through the eyes of an American once again! :o)

Things like:

*Passing the sign for Kruger National Park every time we check our mail or go grocery shopping!
*African ladies carrying 20 lbs or more on top of their heads with no hands
*Breathtaking scenery
*In the village, seeing houses that would be smaller than an American’s tool shed…and that probably sleep 4 people at a minimum
*Monkeys being as common as squirrels
*Killing a scorpion on the way to get groceries
*Armed guards everywhere
*Car watchers/guards at every public place
*Iron bars and gates on every house
*Being ready to greet people in one of 4 languages at any given time
*Buying meat by kilograms and fabric by the meter
*Seeing prices that look rather high, like R10.00 for milk! :o)

And those are obviously just a few things!

I recently read this portion from a book written by a missionary’s wife to Ivory Coast. I found her perspective quite interesting and her words well written.

“Goodbyes are a natural part of life, but in some lines of work they are far too frequent to be comfortable. We belong to a group in constant flux seeing many people come and go. This is the life of a missionary. I rarely cry now at a parting because I have prepared for the inevitable. It is only afterwards, in a quiet moment, the tears begin to flow at the memory of a friend who has left our lives once again, or of our extended family far away on the other side of the ocean. In missionary life goodbyes are as frequent as greetings, and the special people in your closest sphere are continually changing. When we leave our friends and family across the ocean, God brings in others to replace them for a time, but eventually we lose them too.

Once I was sitting by a missionary colleague during a conference, and she commented about this difficult aspect of missionary life. She said there are only two options for survival: to love quickly and deeply, or not to love at all. In the former course you hurt badly every time you move on and a relationship is broken, but in the latter you shut yourself off from loving anyone, and while it is true that you do not hurt when someone leaves, you also begin slowly to die within – no one can live without giving and receiving love.

How can you face the subtle, prolonged grief of always saying goodbye? When you love deeply it rips you apart and leaves you hurting. Some people cannot face it and leave to put down more permanent roots back home. I cannot blame them. Though we repeatedly hurt, we also repeatedly run to the Lord who heals all our wounds. We cry and He comforts us. We grieve and He holds us. The more we hurt the more He heals us, and the more it becomes apparent that there is no end to the fountain of His grace.

I felt the tears welling up inside me as I remembered once again those who had left. Yet God was there. He would always be. He is the one thing that never changes. He only is always sure to fill that emptiness completely. This life is only temporary; we are just passing through and moving on to better ground. We are doing our best with what we have, trying to please our Lord, until we arrive safely home to our final resting place. There we shall see all those we have been parted from for so long, and we will greet them – never to say ‘goodbye’
again.”

At the Edge of the Village (Canon Press)by L. Leidenfrost “Goodbyes” pg183-184